FCT#26 log

Spirit manusia itu terkontaminasi dengan "kotoran" begitu dia dilahirkan di dunia ini. Orang beragama menyebutnya "dosa" - yang diturunkan turun-temurun dan gak pernah habis. Jadi sejak manusia lahir, walaupun physically keliatan bersih, tapi spirit-nya udah terkontaminasi. That's explain kenapa anak kecil cenderung self-centered, bisa bohong walopun nggak pernah ada yang ngajarin. Simply karena spiritnya terkontaminasi dari orang tuanya yang imperfect. Spirit ini memengaruhi pikiran, dan pikiran memengaruhi tindakan. Tindakan yang dilakukan, juga akan memengaruhi spirit. Jadi seperti mata rantai, spirit yang kotor - memengaruhi pikiran untuk menghasilkan ide2 yang busuk - dan ketika ide busuk itu dilakukan, maka spirit akan semakin terkontaminasi, lalu kembali memengaruhi pikiran, kemudian dilakukan... begitu seterusnya... (Lalu muncullah istilah "ikatan dosa"... Tapi never mind tentang "ikatan dosa") I came to conclusion that nobody's p...

Last week, I was interviewed for my Ph. D scholarship application by Dikti (Indonesian Ministry for Higher Education). I knew the interview schedule last minute before the D-Day - Friday evening, one of my colleague texted me - and Saturday morning, 8.30am, I was in Surabaya for an interview. I'd love to compare - head to head - about my first experience interviewed by Fulbright (that conducted by AMINEF/American Indonesian Exchange Foundation) and my second experience interviewed by Dikti. For those who pursue scholarship, you're gonna love it! Fulbright dengan sopan mengirim surat undangan resmi kepada para kandidatnya, baik melalui email maupun mengirim langsung surat undangan ke alamat kandidatnya. They also phoned me, asking for confirmation either the I could attend the interview or not. Pengiriman surat dilakukan 1 bulan sebelum hari-H interview, lengkap dengan alamat dan jadwal interview. Meanwhile, Dikti memberikan pengumuman melalui website resminya H-4 dalam format M...

My Fulbright application failed. Hiks... I won't give up... Ph. D before 35. Professor before 40.

We, as human beings, have both chronological and physiological age. Chronological age is determined by the year you are born. Since I was born in 1978, this year, 2009, my chronological age is 31. Thanks God for that. In the other side, physiological age means mechanical, physical, and biochemical functions of your body. People could have same chronological age and yet have totally different physiological age. For instance, I know people in their chronological age of 20, but his body functions, works and looks like people in the age of 30. His physiological age is older than his chronological age. And I more than thanks to God for my physiological age. People often deceived by my outward appearance. They often think that I am 20 something - even better, they think that I'm a college or high school student. Cool! Jadi ada dualisme dalam hidup saya. Ketika saya berbicara dengan orang lain, menyampaikan pendapat, atau mengajar di depan publik, orang akan melihat usia kronologis saya ...

Tengah malam dan saya masih belum mengantuk. Belajar GRE (Graduate Records Examinations) itu benar-benar sebuah tantangan, khususnya bagi mereka yang menyukai bidang verbal (a.k.a: bahasa; bahasa pemrograman juga boleh dimasukkan ). Nggak tau gimana ceritanya kok GRE ini sampe dijadikan test masuk standard untuk yang pingin ngelanjutkan ke S2 ato S3 di Amrik... Di Indonesia, namanya berubah jadi TPA ato Tes Potensi Akademik - yang wajib diikuti sebagai syarat masuk S2, S3 ato ngelamar pegawai negeri, tentu ya dalam bahasa Indonesia. Ada 3 section dalam bentuk multiple choice yang diujikan, dan yang paling menantang adalah verbal section. Perintah di verbal section ini sederhana kok... Ada bagian yang diminta untuk melengkapi titik-titik dengan kata(-kata) yang tepat, lalu mencari padanan kata serta mencari lawan kata. Gampang to? Lha wong lawan kata itu kan sudah dipelajari sejak kelas 2SD... panjang: pendek, murah: mahal, padat: cair... Lalu kok ya tega-teganya itu dijadikan sebagai s...

It was Friday, 11:42a. It was a clear afternoon and also end of the month. A day that probably, most of employee will love it (what could have been more fun for an employee than having the salary transfered into his account in the weekend? Perfect day for shopping). But, never mind about the shopping-day... As you might probably notice, I am waiting for the result of my scholarship application. I presume that nobody loves waiting, including me. Especially what I am waiting is something that uncertain. I don't know how and when it's going to be. So, ya, it was Friday, 11:42a. The weather is perfect. The wind blew softly trough my private room's window. I was alone, sitting in front of my computer, checking mail and doing some stuffs simultaneously. I felt a bit excited because it's weekend. I've planned to write some articles tonight and thinking to write one or two postings for my blog. For me, perfect weekend means a weekend without any disturbance... and I can sen...

It's July and no news from Monbukagakusho scholarship. I think I can say that it's unsuccessful... Third strike... And I won't give up. Ph. D before 35. Professor before 40.

I wrote this short posting last year and it was never published. But now, after it's over, I boldly publish it. ——————— July 2008 : I was awarded as Lecturer of the year 2008. I, then remember a quote from a famous movie long time ago… Uncle Ben: “ Remember, with great power . comes great responsibility “. [Spiderman, 2002] Awarded as LOTY 2008 doesn’t mean having great power, but I sense that the same level of responsibility comes like having great power. It’s not easy, thou. —————— This year, 2009, the award for Lecturer of The Year 2009 goes to my other colleagues. They deserve it… I’m happy for them. I’m also happy that everything is perfect… All the awards go to whoever it supposes to be awarded. Congratulation for everybody at UMC who win the award. You are the man…! ( dan saya sungguh menikmati bahwa akhirnya semua berakhir dengan indah dan seperti sebagaimana mestinya… )

Saya nggak pernah bisa cocok dengan dunia kerja yang penuh politik. Saya nggak bisa tahan di sebuah organisasi di mana persetongkolan dan intrik terjadi demi keamanan dan keselamatan posisi masing-masing. Ada yang berani menjegal teman sendiri agar dia bisa dipromosikan. Kalo emang perlu difitnah ya go ahead... Dia ngatur strategi dengan manis agar dianya looks good dan temennya looks bad di depan bos. (semoga saya nggak ketemu dengan orang jenis ini atopun kalo sampe ketemu, semoga saya nggak nyadar bahwa dia sedang ngelakukan itu, daripada saya ilfeel seumur hidup dengan dia). Mari kita sebut orang ini dengan sebutan Jenis Licik . Ada yang mau enaknya sendiri. Karena ngerasa sudah punya pangkat dan posisi, jadi nggak mau repot... " Lah buat apa juga repot, lah wong yang bawah bisa disuruh-suruh. Kalo nggak mau disuruh-suruh ya jangan jadi bawahan..." Kira-kira gitu prinsipnya. Mari kita sebut dia sebagai Jenis MohRepot . Ada yang merangkak dari bawah. Mulainya dari 0, lalu...

For years, I've doubted if there's someone that has those 3 characters naturally. I, myself, must struggle very hard to guard my heart, control myself when tempted to gossiping or saying something bad about other people, I must discipline myself to sincerely help other people even if they gives no benefit for me. Why? Ya, simply because those characters are not my nature. That's why I must discipline myself. For most of us, loving someone is easy when s/he gives benefit for us. Caring for other people looks fun when those people are our (future) client (that most probably give future benefit for us). Or when we care about other people, if we really ask our heart, may be we'll find that actually we seek praise for ourself. We easily love and care to other people if we think that what we do for them is worth and we know that we will have greater benefit from it. I called it: "unsincerity". I almost believe that only angel that can love and help sincerely... unfo...

Saya tidak dapat menahan diri saya untuk bertanya dalam hati bagaimana rasanya menjadi jenius? Bagaimana rasanya menjadi seseorang yang multi-talenta? Bagaimana rasanya punya otak yang kecepatan berhitung dan analisanya di atas normal sekaligus mampu mengkoordinasi jari-jari tangan untuk bermain piano, biola atau gitar dan menghasilkan nada yang indah? Bagaimana jika dalam otak sama itu juga mampu merangkai kata-kata menjadi sebuah tulisan yang sangat memikat? Lalu bagaimana jika melalui otak yang sama, mampu dihasilkan karya seni seperti lukisan, fotografi, dan masakan yang lezat (ya, "dan", bukan "atau")? Otak yang sama tersebut, juga mampu mengkoordinasi gerakan tubuh dengan sempurna sehingga gerakan-gerakan tubuh seperti lari, senam, ataupun berenang yang dilakukan adalah gerakan-gerakan yang nyaris sempurna tanpa cacat. I know few of them. Saya pernah menanyakan ke yang bersangkutan, bagaimana rasanya menjadi jenius seperti itu. Tapi saya tidak mendapatkan jaw...

It's been a while since I posted my last posting. Yes, I am waiting for something. Sending 3 scholarship applications makes my daily life a bit out-of-normal-pace. It goes up and down. Sometimes I am quite sure that one of them will put my name as one of the grantee - it's just a matter of time. But another time, I'm afraid that I failed, then must start everything from scratch... many times I feel so desperately waiting for the result (I'm curious, why do they need months to do the preliminary selection). The result will shape the future... and I am waiting.

They announced the scholarship nominees... And my name was not there. It was my 2nd strike after failed in ADS Application. Iya, getting scholarship for doctorate is not as easy as flipping hand. I failed in Depkominfo scholarship Application (but, still thanks to mBak Lily who gave the Depkominfo Scholarship information in the first place - kalo ada info lagi, bagi2 ya Mbak). In the next 6 weeks, I will try to apply the Dikti and Fulbright scholarship. Nggak selalu mulus emang... Tapi I'll keep PUSH-ing -- (P)ray (U)ntil (S)omething (H)appen...

Menunggu itu nggak enak. Saya dua minggu ini nunggui hasil test iBT TOEFL saya. Setiap kali buka personal page saya, selalu deg2an. Soalnya pas test itu saya ngerasa nggak well perform. Ada banyak missed bukan karena nggak bisa, tapi karena nervous ato nggak konsen - trust me, the situation when you're taking the test is totally different with your daily study. Especially the pressure! The energy to overcome the pressure makes you can't concentrate well (terutama kalo inget udah bayar $150). Selama 2 minggu, saya rajin buka personal page saya... Tapi score-nya masih not avalaible. Padahal, buka halamannya itu sambil merem2... Ngeri liatnya... Ngeri kalo nggak bisa sampe syarat minimum buat ngajukan beasiswa. Buat bisa ngajukan aplikasi beasiswa Ph. D-nya Fulbright, syarat pertama TOEFL-nya 575 (Paper Based TOEFL). Uni di Aussie juga sama, syarat jadi Ph. D students-nya adalah dapet skor International TOEFL 575. Mereka nggak mau nerima yang TOEFL2-an. Mereka hanya mau terim...

I believe this posting will be useful for those who want to take iBT TOEFL... And since you want to take iBT TOEFL, I assume that you already overloaded, loathe/sick with all the iBT TOEFL English materials. So, I'm not going to make vomit in front of computer. I will make it easier by writing it in Bahasa. Pertama , kenapa orang repot-repot ambil iBT TOEFL dan rela ngeluarin duit $150 (mana dolar naek terus lagi) lalu sampe di ruang test, mereka di-plokoto, mesti melototin monitor dengan headset terpasang lalu disiksa ngerjakan soal2 yang jelas2 bukan bahasanya sendiri selama 3.5 jam non-stop dengan resiko kencing batu karena nahan pipis? Motivasi orang beda2. Ada yang rencana mau sekolah di luar, dan sekolanya mensyaratkan nilai TOEFL-nya sekian ratus. Tapi sekolah itu nggak mau TOEFL yang TOEFL-TOEFLan, maunya TOEFL yang asli, yang namanya iBT ato internet Based TOEFL. Jadi dia terpaksa mau disiksa di ruang test iBT TOEFL. Kalo saya, laen lagi. Demi mengajukan aplikasi beasiswa ...

Today, Feb 25th will be one of the most important dates in my journey of pursuing Ph. D. Today, I officially have a professor that willing to supervise my research topic. Yippi...! Here is the acceptance letter: Yes, it's in Chiba University, Japan. Ok, you might misunderstand about the letter... It does not mean I get the scholarship already and going to Japan next month. No! But having a professor for my research is a giant leap on my doctorate journey. This letter will be used to register at Chiba University as a post-graduate student. I put a lot efforts to have this-only-one-page-letter alone. It's not just dropped from heaven to my mailbox, it's not just one or two days correspondence with someone-somewhere in the internet, it's not just browsing at google and all of sudden got this letter. No! It takes months. I read lot journals, books, and dissertations before finally I came out with only-three-pages-resesarch-proposal to be sent. Next step will be findin...

How do you measure your success? For many years, I almost believed that success is always about the amount of money I earn or about good career I have. But, recently my mind gradually changes. I met many right people on the right time that shows me what success is. Through these people, I feel like God giving me piece-by-piece of puzzle to be solved rather than gives a whole picture. I called this Puzzle: "what-is-success" puzzle. After arranging the puzzle piece-by-piece, I come to the conclusion, that success is not merely about money or career. For me, success is about how big your impact to other people, how big your contribution to the society. If through your lifestyle, your action, your thinking, your teaching, your writing, your invention or whatever you can think of, many people are touch and became a better people, then you are simply a success people. I realize that living in this world is not about ourself after all, it's not about earning money and enjoy it ...

Saya suka makan keripik singkong (yang nggorengnya dengan terlebih dulu ditenggelamkan ke dalam bumbu garam, bawang dan kunyit). Dua puluh tahun yang lalu, pas saya masih SD, harga singkong Rp. 100 per kilo. Kata mami-nya Nina (yang baru beli singkong tadi pagi pasar), sekarang harga singkong udah Rp. 1000 per kilo, ato naek 10x lipat. Dalam 20 taon, harga singkong udah naek 1000%. Lalu dengan otak ekonomi yang pas2an, saya coba analisa. Kalo misalnya 20 taon yang lalu saya punya uang Rp. 100, terus saya depositokan di bank, apa sekarang, 20 taon kemudian, uangnya masih bisa buat beli singkong 1 kilo? Logikanya sih ya bisa. Kan di bank dapet bunga... Tapi dengan asumsi suku bunga deposito 8% per tahun, ternyata uang Rp. 100 saya jadi... Rp. 466 dalam 20 tahun. Kalo dengan asumsi suku bunga 10%, dalam 20 taon uang saya "cuman" jadi Rp. 672. Cuman cukup beli daon-nya doang. Jadi, kalo uang kita taroh di Bank, nilainya semakin lama akan semakin susut. Kok bisa ya? Kalo kata oran...

Knowing how to speak English is one thing, but interpreting English is completely different thing. So, there he goes. Leaping into a character called an "Interpreter". Last time I saw him, he was a lecturer with tons of office tasks during new coming semester. Preparing research proposal, preparing scholarship applications since he's so eager to take Ph. D this year, preparing subjects to be taught for next semester, involving in some campus activities to make sure that he can hit Key Performance Indicators (KPI) target as a lecturer. But then, last Saturday, the news came like brick hits his head. He was elected to interprete Pst. Steven Davis from Australia for the sunday service at Bethany Church, Malang. Why did they choose this-so-unexperienced-interpreter to interpret? The church has more experience-and-annointed-interpreters, but somehow they could not do the interpretation. One is sick and must be hospitalized, this-mom-would-be is pregnant for 5 months, and this-...

Saya punya sepasang sepatu hitam yang saya beli 8 tahun yang lalu (ya, it's been 8 years!). Harganya murah waktu saya beli... cuman 5 digit (which means less than 100K). Saya inget, waktu itu saya hampir lulus kuliah S1 dan nggak punya banyak duit untuk beli fancy ato branded shoes yang harganya 6 digit. Jadi ya... saya beli yang murah tapi bisa dipake untuk kerja resmi... Lalu jadilah sepatu hitam itu satu-satunya sepatu resmi saya - till... NOW! Iya, sampe sekarang saya masih pake sepatu hitam itu. Sepatu ini udah nggak sekeren 8 taon lalu ketika saya beli pertama kali. Lima tahun lalu, solnya harus diganti karena ada bagian yang robek hingga kaki saya bisa kemasukan kerikil ato air kalau saya jalan di jalan yang becek. Warna hitamnya sudah pudah di beberapa bagian. Tali sepatunya juga udah pernah putus. Yet, somehow sepatu itu tetap saya pake, dan saya nggak pengin beli ato ganti sepatu lain (beli sepatu kets iya, tapi nggak pernah ngganti sepatu resmi ini). Saya udah terlanju...

Yay, first posting in 2009 will be grouped in a new category called "My Doctorate Journey"... (Geee... I'm sooo eager to have additional "Ph. D" after my name, so it'll be "Windra Swastika, Ph. D"... Cool, ah? After finishing "My Doctorate Journey", next category will be "The New Adventure of Chasing Professorship", haha2...) So, it all started with a dream (remember...? we all are ordinary people, and will stay ordinary until we encounter extraordinary dreams and the moment we step forward to achieve that dream, we're becoming extraordinary). I'm dreaming... of a white Christmas..., oh, sorry, it's over... I'm dreaming, that someday my mom and my future soulmate (whoever she is and probably with my children) attend my doctorate graduation ceremony (somewhere in Australia, USA or Japan), and when the dean calls my name to come forward to stage, my mom shouts "THAT'S MY BABY BOY...!!!" (Please deh, ...