Reading "ness"
Psstt...! I have one special ability that normal human being doesn't have. I realize this ability since I was 20-something... I couldn't remember exactly when and how. But, back at that time, it wasn't so sharp. I mean, many times inacurate... Why so? Most probably because I just lack of experience how to use it or may be I wasn't sure if human being can really have this kind of ability. Later on, I know that this ability is a gift and I want to use it in positive way.
What ability?
Ok, do you know that word "ness" is usually used to turn an adjective into a noun? If you know a bit about grammar, you can compare these sentence to feel the difference:
"You're very kind"
"Thank you for your kindness"
The word "kind" in first sentence functions as an adjective, and the second sentence ("kindness") functions as a noun. We, (yes "you"!), are a unique character that identified by our name. I can use word "Windra" as an adjective that refer to all my distinctive-unique-characters. For example: "His behaviour is so windra". That means, someone has all my characters, the way he thinks, he does, he feels just like me. Additional "ness" after "windra" means the noun. So, the word "windraness" will be a noun to describe all my characters. Got that?
Nah, the ability I talked earlier, is the ability to read other's people' ness. Yes, I can read your "ness". Day by day, I found that my ability to read someone's "ness" is getting sharper and more acurate. Give me 15-30 minutes to talk with someone totally strange. At the end of conversation, all distinctive-unique-characters of that person already in my mind, whether s/he stubborn, smart, cunning, humble, introvert, sincere, has hatred, trauma, burden, good self-control, selfish... Almost everything. My brain seems keep processing while we're having conversation and finally conclude all of his/her "ness" at the end. All his/her characters are concluded not only from the content of our conversation, but from the way s/he talks, his/her mimics, eye movement, head movement, body movement, winks, talking speed, voice, everything. Most likely, I scan through his/her spirit unconsciously, and then pop... They already in my mind. Really... I don't have control to deactivate this ability. Sometime, it just deactivates by itself, without my intervention.
I believe, it's not a curse, but it's a gift
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